Preparing For Marriage.

 I believe that many people in the world are searching for love. Love, as defined in the dictionary is “an intense feeling of deep affection”. When have you felt loved? How do you show and give love? There may come a time in our lives when we will decide to become married. Which is a tremendous commitment. According to the Census Bureau, about 62% of 25-54-year-old Americans are married. How do we choose to make that huge commitment? 

I am 24 years old. My mother and most of my sisters were married by the age of 20. Not long after, they decided to have kids. My mother raised me and my siblings as a single mother. She played the mother and father figure for us. Personally, I am terrified to date someone for a long period of time which may result in a possible marriage. I believe in marriage, but I am not too sure if I am enough for someone. I began to make a list of what I would want and what I would want to give. I want someone to hold me. Cherish me. Bring me flowers without asking. Someone to be a part of my family. To go to church and praise the Lord with me. I want to travel the world and admire God’s creations. So how do we prepare for these things? 

Fortunately for me, I have a lot of examples of healthy marriages. My bishop and his wife have built an incredible life together. She shared with me that when Kyle and she were dating, she just had a baby out of wedlock. It was a tremendous decision for them. Kyle ultimately decided that God loved Amy for who she was not for her mistakes. This information helped him understand that he too could love Amy similarly to the way God loves her. Today, they have 7 boys and have been married for 24 years. 

Brad A. Chadwick wrote, “...for all the Cinderellas and Prince Charmings to throw away their glass slippers.” I love this phrase. We tend to get caught up in our expectations and not reality. The Lord has a plan for each of us. His plan is to find the right one than one. In order to find our future spouse, we must prepare. I study at BYU- Idaho and the dating scene is quite odd. Most of the time, I have been asked to hang out. I can’t recall a time when the boy used the word “date”. It is almost as if the word date has a negative connotation to it. As if “date” immediately leads to “marriage”. Elder Dallin H. Oaks discussed that we should stop “hanging out” and start “dating”. He counseled, “My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football. Marriage is not a group activity—at least, not until the children come along in goodly numbers.” The way that we prepare ourselves for eternity is now. Our habits, thoughts, and language influence our future. We can set our sights on higher and holier things.

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