Transitions in Marriage

 A year ago, I was dating this man who I thought I was going to marry him. We related to so many different things. It all came to an end fairly quickly. I was 23 at that time, and I felt like a failure. I was depressed and bitter. At 23 I thought I had made it. W. Bradford Wilcox stated, “Twentysomething marriage is not for everybody. It requires an extra measure of maturity and intentionality.” My older sister married when she was 26. She had two kids with her now husband and dated him for 4 years. I thought it was silly that she was deciding to marry him. I asked her why she decided to marry him and she replied, “We have two kids together, it was the correct thing to do.” 

There are many reasons why people decide to marry. Such as the need for intimacy, social expectations, social ideals, personal fulfillment, a desire to raise children, and a simple solution. I find these reasons quite reasonable, except for marriage is a simple solution. Perhaps I have watched too many romance movies. Couples will have problems and challenges, but to see marriage as a solution seems odd and unnatural. Although, individuals have personal challenges and want to get away from undesirable circumstances. Perhaps hoping that marriage will ease some of those difficulties. Others desire a steady and dependable life. 

Once married, couples will have adjustment periods- new responsibilities, new opportunities, child-bearing, and new relationships such as new family members. 

One important point is to remember that we all have different personalities. Living with someone who has different values and cultural customs. Lastly, marriage is an arrangement where two people decide to be loyal and loving. Once two people marry they decide if they are going to have children.


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